Hannah's Hope Chapter Five

I am tired of people (my doctor included) telling me that my loss wasn't real, that it wasn't really a baby and that if I wasn't charting, I wouldn't have even known - is that supposed to make me feel better?!? It WAS a loss, it WAS a baby and I DO know I lost my precious child. Please give me time to grieve. If I make you uncomfortable, please understand I'm not doing it intentionally and leave me alone. I'm not acting this way to upset you, I am simply living my life the only way I know how. To quote someone else who has gone through this "There is nothing worse than being told your child doesn't exist. NOTHING. PLEASE DON'T CALL MY CHILD A CHEMICAL. GOD LOVES MY CHILD AND SO DO I." My child was a unique human being and I will never forget them. I am trying to use this for God's glory. My extended family is having a very difficult time understanding what I am going through. I think the only way you can really, truly understand it is to go through it yourself and I pray that my family never has to go through this themselves. It is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Before I am offended or hurt by my family or anyone else I need to try to step back and see if they are going through anything that might be causing them grief and try to be supportive of them. I need to love others in spite of the heartache they may cause me. Wow, that's much easier said than done!!! Retaliating for hurts caused by others will only push them away when I most need their prayers and encouragement. Lord, please help me forgive those that hurt me, everyday if necessary, and help me keep forgiving.

Ordinary Princess J

Sunday Morning

Today I'm thankful for my kitties. They're warm, fuzzy and snuggly. What more could you want when you're not feeling well? Plus, they're super good with DS. At least, boy kitty is. Girl kitty runs away from him. DS has been known to pet boy kitty the wrong way and boy kitty just sits there and takes it. Such good cats!

I'm thankful for my laptop, without which I would be disconnected from the entire world. I use it to find out the weather, check the news, get new recipes, pay bills, get clothes, send email, all sorts of stuff! I would be lost without it.

I'm also thankful for family. My half-brother is coming to visit today. He's 20+ years older than me and has a son close to my age, so we've never been close, but I know he's always cared about me. I think he just likes to check in on me occasionally and make sure I'm doing alright. I am blessed to have so many people who care about me.

Ordinary Princess J

Need a Boost

I'm feeling a little drained and tired. I'm not sure if it's my allergies or a cold coming on, but I need an attitude boost.

I'm thankful for DH who's done like 4 loads of laundry today without being asked. He's very good about helping with housework when he's not working. I am blessed.

I'm thankful for my in-laws (they live 2 door down from us) taking DS so that I can get some housework done.

I'm thankful for my family in general. My SIL and nephew are part of our weekly playgroup. It's wonderful to be a part of their lives and watch my nephew grow and change. My mother and father live close enough for us to visit frequently. My in-laws get to see DS almost daily and I love knowing that he's growing up seeing them and knowing that he's loved by many, many people.

Off to put away laundry!

Ordinary Princess J