Fertility Rivalry - I HATE that concept, probably because I identify with it! It seemed to me that as soon as DH and I got pregnant with DS, his brother and his wife immediately began TTC, even though before both had said they didn't want kids. I was delighted when my nephew was born, but now with his 1 year old birthday already passed, I dread the announcement that I know will be coming soon of how they are expecting again. Right now, we are equal, but if they have another child, especially a girl, I feel like our extended family might forget about us and DS. I HATE the feelings of jealousy and envy that I'm struggling with! It seems that lately, all I see are pregnant women and small children/babies everywhere. It's hard to avoid such situations when you already have a toddler. I need to be constantly reminded that I do not know better than God. His plan for me is perfect and I should not second guess Him, but ti's so hard to be patient and wait on His timing. How do you wait patiently? I guess for me, the easiest way is to read while I wait, so that's what I'm going to try to do. I'm going to be better about reading my Bible daily and really try to hear what God is saying to me. I need to be drawing strength from the Lord in my time of trial (be it infertility, the loss of a loved one, financial problems, etc.) rather than questioning Him and resenting Him. I need to work with Him and His plan for my life, not against Him. I need to be very careful to not make my pursuit of another child my idol, because I fear that is the direction I am headed.
Ordinary Princess J
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FYI your brother- and sister-in-law did not "immediately begin TTC" after you got pregnant. God brought us to that decision much later and because it was His plan for our life. If more children are added to our family it will be b/c He wills it and will have nothing to do with competition. In our extended family, each person is loved and accepted for our individuality and it has nothing to do with the number of kids we have, job status, money, or any other tangible means of measuring. I understand that you are feeling alone right now. I want to assure you of my love for you. There is no "thing" in the world that can add or take away form your value. You are worthy because you are a child of our great King and that's all that matters. I just wanted to clear that up.
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