One Year Book of Hope Week 1 Day 4

I had a bad SI day today. I went to a playgroup with a lot of siblings and babies present. There were several times I had to swallow a lump in my throat and try to function normally so I didn't scare anyone. The devotional today made the very important point that whenever there is suffering and pain, there is also hope. Hope is one thing that never goes away. No matter how much sorrow you experience, hope is always there if you look for it. Even though I'm suffering right now, I can look back in my life and see the many, many ways God has blessed me. He is faithful and has never left me. He loves me. In my time of sorrow, I must focus on God's love for me. It quite possibly might be the only way I'm going to make through this.

The reading for today was in Lamentations, chapter 3 and it hit me hard. The author asks us to relate to what was said in verses 1-20. I can relate to so much here. "He has led me into darkness, shutting out all light," verse 2. SI is a very dark place for me. I don't like who I am here and I have a hard time seeing my way. Verse 4 says, "He has buried me in a dark place, like those long dead." I do feel buried by SI. It affects all faucets of my life. I just can't seem to dig my way out. Each time I think I'm making progress, something happens and the walls fall in on me and I have to start all over. Verse 9 says, "He has blocked my way with a high stone wall; he has made my road crooked." I do feel cut off in my desire to have another child. I feel like I'm facing unsurmountable obstacles and it fills my heart with despair. My road down this path has been anything but straight. Verse 14 says, "My own people laugh at me, All day long they sing their mocking songs." I have many people in my life who don't understand what I'm going through and some don't even try to. They offer trite advice. It's like they want to put a band-aid on my pain so they don't have to hear about it. They think I should just get over it, but it's not that simple. I wish it were. The verse that strikes me the most is verse 20, "I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss." I know I will never forget this time in my life. I can only hope that like Job, God will lead me out of this time of sorrow and bless me twice as much on the other side.

In verses 21-66, the author asks us what the writer chose to do and believe that generated hope. In verses 21-22 it says, "Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease." The writer of lamentations chose to hope because he knew that throughout all his trials, the love of God was with him. In verses 24-27 the writer says that it is good to hope in the Lord, that it is good to sit quietly and wait for salvation from the Lord, and that it is good to submit to the Lord at an early age. So hoping in the Lord, waiting quietly for salvation and submitting to the Lord early on all generate hope.