You're All I Want

I woke up this morning with the song "Draw Me Close" running through my head. It's one of a few ways that God lets me know when I need to work on something. I've been struggling quite a bit for the past few months, wrestling with several issues that plague me. The biggest issue is my continuing infertility, which is directly linked to the health of my husband and I. I realized a few days ago that I have let that desire to have another child overtake my desire for knowing my Lord better. This morning, I am singing the words to this song wholeheartedly, with tears running down my face.

Lord, draw me close to you. Never let me go. I lay it all down again, to hear you say that I'm your friend. You are my desire. No one else will do. 'Cause nothing else can take your place, to feel the warmth of your embrace. Help me find the way, bring me back to you!

You're all I want. You're all I've ever needed. You're all I want. Help me know you are near.

Lord, this is what I pray to you today. Please bring me back to you. Help me to reestablish a time daily where I can connect with you. I need this time. My life is withering without you. I want You more than I want another child, but I still struggle with this. I am like the father in Mark who said, "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!" I want to want You with every fiber of my being, over any of my other desires, but I need help with this. My desire for a child is so strong, Lord. I have daily, sometimes hourly reminders of this desire. Lord, I desire You, help me to desire You first!

I do plan on continuing my posts about Hannah's Hope and will be posting about a few other books that I am reading after I am finished. I have been struggling with my health and emotions since the passing of my father this past July, and I regret that they have drawn me away from this blog. I am using the new year as a time to reconnect spiritually with my Lord. If you would like to help me be accountable, please let me know. :)

Ordinary Princess J