I know I have experienced bitterness from my infertility. At least I know I am not alone. Many women in the Bible experienced bitterness and I'm sure that even more have experienced it outside of the Bible! I pray that I have learned to deal with my emotions before they turn to bitterness. It's an ongoing battle. I know now that in order to keep bitterness from invading my soul. I need to cultivate my soul by using God's word daily as a tool against it.
01/02/10 Hannah's Hope Chapter Ten
How far am I willing to go for another child? How far can we go medically before we run into ethical problems? Is it fair to the rest of our family to go into debt or spend all of our excess income on having another child? How do we know which way to go? I have so many questions! What are my limits? Jim and I have discussed this, but haven't come to any concrete conclusions. "Is my pursuit of a child honoring His blessings, or squandering what I have been given?" was a question that was asked in the book. Right now I don't know. Another question was "Am I trying to force God's hand?" Some days is sure seems like it, especially since Gabe wasn't planned by us. We know now how much of a miracle he is. He is our gift from God.
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